of structure to do this.
above all, im scared.
im scared because there will be
no help as long as i refuse it.
and im sure there wouldn't be because
i will continue not to seek it.
i'm so scared of what will
and will not happen.
its different being scared at 21.
its not like you are 7
when being scared meant
crying it out loud to
outsource that Inner Terrible Feeling
to someone i.e. mom/dad/other adults.
neither is it fear out of ignorance
anymore.
being adult and scared means you
have exhausted most feasible options
and nothing has worked out.
and you jolly well not be crying it out loud
to people coz they have got their own
Terrible Inner Feelings to deal with too.
mostly
its probably your fault, and
you'd better cope.
im scared, i wish things were different,
i wish i could be braver but i think
ive honestly maxed it already and yet
im still really scared.
im fidgety, afraid and kinda sad.
update: haha happier now im damn lame
6:14 PM